29 August 2010

My favorite yoga class is like an old friend

I haven't managed to get to my Therapeutics class for a few weeks - last weekend we were down in OC to visit my father in law, and the week before was the introduction to the teacher training.

So today I'm looking forward to being back into my regular routine, for one week at least. Once the teacher training begins, I will only be able to attend Therapeutics class every other weekend - I don't have the stamina to do an additional 1.5 hours of yoga on top of the 5 hour training.

And I'll digress to a bit off topic here... My body is sore from all the belly dancing - I spent a large part of the day on Friday practicing at home, then it getting ready (makeup, makeup, and more makeup - oh and a costume too). Then we were off to the fair to perform...  It was a lot of fun and once I was on stage, it went so quickly!  I wished I had been able to dance in a few of the other numbers, but as such a neophyte to belly dancing, one was enough this time.

My belly dance teacher said in class that she does yoga to support her belly dancing...  I guess I'm the opposite - my belly dancing will support my yoga. I had a hard time earlier in the week when I watched myself in the mirror at the last class. I am not happy with my body right now - I've put on weight since having my son and have had to buy larger clothing. I considered not performing... but decided to just put that uncomfortable feeling aside because I was pretty certain I would regret NOT performing more than I would actually performing. So I bought myself some new eyeshadow and costume jewelry to distract me from my lack of confidence, and I managed to get up on that stage and have a good time despite not having a "perfect" body.

I need to work on accepting my body for what it is, as it is, and just move forward with my dancing and yoga and work to clean up my diet.  The body issues will resolve themselves if I focus on these things - I know that, but sometimes it is a challenge to ignore the mirror and the mental ideal I wish I could be. I hope that through my teacher training I will learn more about acceptance and how to bring it into my heart and mind. I am going to get a copy of Ram Dass' Remember Be Here Now to read along with my textbooks for the training... It's something I have struggled with for a long while - not just in relation to body issues, but other issues as well.  I am looking forward to the growth possible on this path, and hope I will become a better me for the changes I work into my life.


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